


rose soap

by campholmes



Series: women's liberation is a lesbian plot [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1970s, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, lesbians!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-10-28 01:44:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10821126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campholmes/pseuds/campholmes
Summary: The girl is coming up Trixie’s aisle, Trixie is shifting in her seat. She’s walking confidently, her hair flowing behind her, backpack off of one shoulder and she smells like smoke. She slides into the seat next to Trixie, turning to her to grin and wink. Her teeth are blindingly white and her eyes are piercing blue with silvery shadow smudged over and under her eyelids, Trixie thinks that she can probably see right through her.(trixie & katya meet at college in 1974)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello. this Piece (hardly but thats what it Feels Like, ive worked on it for so long) is a 1970’s lesbian college AU. this is a huge fucking fic, and i am aware of that, it’s completely taken over my entire life. i have most of it written so updates should be really quick! special thx to all my friends you know who you are thanks for catering to my every whim & impluse lol. feat: weed, lesbianism, and true love. tumblr: fleursverts

Katya’s smoking in her apartment, and this is news because Ginger doesn’t care what Katya does in the apartment, as long as she cleans up mostly. Katya’s last roommate-- well, she’s lucky that Ginger is her roommate now. That’s all.

Katya is reading Marx, that’s annoying, she realizes, but what’s the point of going to Berkeley if you aren’t a little bit of a communist? There’s no point. If the war won’t end, why should she even remotely _try_ to agree with capitalism? Even in a theoretical sense, it’s inherently built on the backs of the slave trade and colonialism. And she’s not planning on entertaining any bullshit in class discussions this semester.

The windows of the apartment are wide open, it’s a sunny day and classes are starting, Katya is both dreading it and excited to meet some new people, some new _girls_ mostly, her bell-bottoms are tight on her ass and loose around her ankles and her hair is blown out, she looks good and she knows it. 

Does she look like enough of a lesbian, though, is the question.

Katya had had a… falling out with her girlfriend-now-ex over the summer, Violet was maybe a little unhappy that Katya was planning on moving in with Ginger but Katya had other things to worry about, such as where the fuck her English major was going to take her and how to figure out a way to smoke out of her window at home in Boston so her mom wouldn’t find out. She had spent literal hours on the phone, trying to make Violet see sense, or even just… listen to her, but nothing worked. Katya had just sat with the phone resting on the carpet and painted her toenails as Violet’s tinny voice ranted on and on about how lazy Katya was, how she should really be going to school to be a secretary, or something, not wasting her life on journalism or english or witchcraft or protesting or whatever “nonsense.”

Katya is certain that Violet was with her due to Katya’s ability to make her See God with her tongue, and she’s known it since the first time Katya asked Violet to go to Pride with her in San Francisco and Violet had wrinkled her nose at the thought. Katya had magicked those wrinkles away with her fingers and mouth, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they were over after that.

Now, since Katya’s rid herself of that negative energy, she’s focusing her energy (Positive Energy) on the important stuff. Such as reading and getting pussy. 

Katya has made it a personal goal of hers to hook up with (at least) one girl today? Hopefully in a supply closet. One of her lifelong dreams has been to pull a girl aside and ask her if she would like to be eaten out right now? And then taking her to a supply closet and just doing it, make her fall apart and moan into her hand, bite the skin to keep quiet. Katya’s getting horny just thinking about it.

She puts out her cigarette and grabs her backpack, running her hands through her hair a couple of times in the hall mirror next to the door to make sure that it’s big enough, then leaves and locks the door behind her. She’s hopped up on caffeine and she doesn’t remember her class schedule but she’ll pull it out when she gets to campus, probably. If it’s still warm and sunny when she gets there, though, she might skip class and sit in the grass smoking (grass) with Ginger if she sees her. 

Katya catches the bus just in time like always, the bus driver must have some kind of personal vendetta against her because he’s always pulling up to the stop right as she turns the corner down the block. She waves him down, though, and he lets her on. 

Katya is chewing gum, her backpack is pretty heavy since this year she decided to be a Good Student and buy all of her assigned books for her classes before the first week (or never), which she thinks is pretty damn cool, and she’s carrying three of them in her backpack. She’s even done the assigned readings for her first days of class, and if she did them drunk on white wine on the balcony of the apartment at 3am a few nights ago, who cares? She doesn’t really remember them but it’s fine, she can easily connect any class discussions to any given current political situation based on what the other students say about the book.

It is still sunny when she gets to campus, but she’s thinking that maybe this time she should go to class. It’s her junior year, college isn’t going to last forever, and maybe there’ll be a hot girl in one of her lectures. 

She pulls her crumpled schedule out of her backpack, thankfully her first class is in fifteen minutes and she can see Ginger sitting in their usual spot on the grass. 

Katya walks up to her, greeting her and pulling out a cig at the same time, she can already smell Ginger’s weed and she wants some, passes the cig to Ginger so she can fill up the end with some.

“Thanks, girl, I have class in 15 so,” Katya takes the cig back and lights it quick, smoking it at breakneck speed in order to be on time. She’s liking the nice buzz she has going now, and she’s liking the idea of being on time for once.

Katya climbs the stone steps to the door with the other students around her, she feels calm and chill, and she looks hot, and she’s ready. To meet some hot girls.

\- - -

Trixie doesn’t know why the fuck she decided to be a Journalism major, she feels stupid for it every time she comes home and her mom questions her about it, or when the men in her classes give her dirty looks. Trixie’s just a fan of exposing corruption and asking hard questions, she guesses.

She looks cute today, and this semester she has a fuck ton of credits to make up so she’s taking a bunch of generals. Well, she’s taking some higher-level English classes that are more interesting to her than other generals she could take that still count for her degree. 

She’s wearing an ankle-length pink skirt, a pink polo on top, and she has a pink ribbon in her hair. She knows she looks cute, and maybe naughty, she’s wearing more blush than usual and pink lip gloss. 

She’s at her first class early, it’s a Shakespearian literature course and it’ll probably bore her to death, but what choice does she really have.

She’s sitting in the back, no fucking way is she going to sit in the front in a class that she doesn’t care about, and there isn’t anybody there yet when she walks in so she has her pick of the entire array of desks. Students start filing in and sitting staggered away from each other, she’s sure that the chair next to her will be one of the last ones filled, that’s just how it works, nobody wants to sit next to someone they don’t know.

Trixie is staring into space, at the wall, when the professor comes in, and then the last of the students come in after him. 

Trixie does a double take at the last student filing into the classroom. Her hair is _long_ , and it’s wavy and flows all the way down to her ass. Speaking of ass, her denim bell-bottoms are tight across it and her flat stomach, they’re high-waisted and she’s wearing a red belt. Her cheekbones are sharp, she’s sucking in her cheeks in deep thought as well, and Trixie wants to touch them. She has a peasant shirt on with a floral pattern and a drawstring that’s tied loosely against her collarbone, her tits are bouncing, and Trixie can tell she isn’t wearing a bra beneath the flowy fabric.

The girl is coming up Trixie’s aisle, Trixie is shifting in her seat. She’s walking confidently, her hair flowing behind her, backpack off of one shoulder and she smells like smoke. She slides into the seat next to Trixie, turning to her to grin and wink. Her teeth are blindingly white and her eyes are piercing blue with silvery shadow smudged over and under her eyelids, Trixie thinks that she can probably see right through her.

“Katya,” the girl says, still grinning at Trixie. She’s holding her hand across the aisle for Trixie to shake.

“Hi. Trixie,” Trixie takes her hand. It’s warm and dry and her nails are bitten down, plain. Trixie is sure that she’s been shaking it for too long. Katya lets go with another wink. She’s looking Trixie right in the eyes.

“Major?” Katya seems to only be able to speak in single words. Her pupils are wide and black, she’s probably high.

“Journalism,” Trixie offers, her hands are now fiddling with her pen on top of her notebook and she can still feel the warmth of Katya’s fingers on her palm.

At the mention of Trixie’s major, Katya’s eyes widen even more, if that’s possible. “Really??” Katya’s eyebrows are far up her forehead, she has wrinkles there and Trixie likes them, they’re cute.

“Yeah,” Trixie laughs, Katya is pulling on the strings of her shirt, her hands are flitting around her on her clothes and in the air so fast, Trixie can’t keep up with how much she wants to watch them. 

“That’s so cool! I love Journalism, that should have been my major, but, I like to read too much, so I’m English,” Katya speaks rapidly, Trixie finds her eyes shifting down to watch Katya’s lips as she exclaims, following the shape of them with every word. When she looks back up at Katya’s eyes, they’re sparkling in mirth. “There’s nothing like the sheer lesbianism of a schedule-full of English courses,” Katya’s eyes have changed in energy, she’s waiting for Trixie’s response.

Trixie is shocked, she’s never met a girl, not even at a lesbian bar (and she’s been to a few) that flat, outright told her that she’s a lesbian. Let alone in a desk at school, right before class starts, long hair thrown over one shoulder and thick mascara coating her lashes. But she also really likes it, she likes Katya, she likes the turn this interaction has taken. 

“There’s nothing like the sheer lesbianism of a summer internship at the _LA Times_ ,” Trixie parrys back, smirking slightly. Katya’s eyes widen, again, Trixie has no idea how they keep getting wider and wider. 

“I like you,” Katya bursts a laugh, and Trixie looks down when she feels something against her mary jane. Katya’s stretched her leg across the aisle on the hardwood floor and her clog is knocking against Trixie’s shoe. Trixie giggles and Katya grins back, again, as the professor begins the lesson.

\- - -

After the full 75 minutes of the professor (Trixie doesn’t know his name and she’s certain that she’ll never learn it) droning on about the syllabus and class expectations, he lets them go. Trixie stuffs her notebook and pen into her backpack, she’s already becoming disorganized on the first day, and swings it up over her shoulder. She turns to leave and Katya is standing, backpack on, in the aisle between their desks.

They’re in the very back row, almost up against the chalkboard, and Katya’s legs are wide apart. She’s staring Trixie down, a little bit. She has an unlit cigarette between the first two fingers of her left hand.

“Yeah?” Trixie questions. Katya’s eyes are all over her.

Katya crosses behind Trixie’s seat, to stand next to her. She’s a few inches shorter than Trixie, and she’s skinny, the muscles of her thighs are visible through the tight denim.

“I have a quick question,” Katya is closer, closer. Trixie is shifting her weight from her right foot to her left and back.

“Yeah?” Trixie feels like she’s breathing into Katya’s mouth. The room is empty but for them.

“Would you like to go find a supply closet with me?”

Trixie’s mind is going a mile a second, she’s blinking, Katya is smirking at her through heavy lashes and wide pupils and sharp cheekbones. Trixie makes a decision, she’s going to make the decision.

“Okay,” Trixie nods, and Katya grins wider than she has in the little more than an hour that she’s known her. Katya takes her by the wrist and leads her out of the room, into the empty hall of the building. Trixie has two hours until her next class.

Katya is leading her by the wrist still, she keeps looking back at her with those sparkling eyes. Trixie can feel a coiling deep in her stomach, the building isn’t air conditioned and she feels overheated and her top it sticking to her armpits, she’s sure her bangs are damp against her forehead.

Katya is looking for a supply closet, Trixie isn’t really paying any attention as Katya looks around, until she hums excitedly and Trixie is yanked into the smallest room she’s ever had the misfortune to be in.

Katya slams the door and locks it from the inside behind them so that they’re plunged into complete darkness.

“Fuck, is there a light in here?” Katya’s hands are all over Trixie’s side, thumping against the wall, pulling her hair, and then they’re flooded with light from a singular bulb above their heads. Trixie is up against the wall and there are shelves behind Katya, boxes of test paper and pens and pencils behind her head. Katya’s hair is sticking up from the struggle to turn on the light, on one side, where it’s been teased wonky. Trixie unconsciously reaches out a hand and fixes it, ignoring Katya’s wide grin.

When Trixie is finished (Katya waited patiently, watching Trixie’s face as she concentrated on Katya’s hair), Katya winks at her again and sinks to her knees. Trixie’s eyes bulge, like she’s forgotten why they’re there. She can hear someone walking past in the hall. Katya freezes with her hands on the waist of Trixie’s dress, about to unbutton it.

When the footsteps disappear, Katya looks up at Trixie.

“Would you like to be eaten out right now?” She asks, smirking through her words. Trixie feels herself squirm at the question, she’d been tingling at the extremities from the moment Katya had propositioned her at the end of class three minutes ago.

Trixie reaches out her hand, runs it through Katya’s hair again. “I’d love that,” she says, giggling, her voice is low and she’s so wet, so wet already as Katya laughs, unbuttons her skirt and lets it fall to the ground.

Trixie is wearing nice white lace panties, Katya hums in delight and rubs her whole hand across the waistband, pulls Trixie’s shirt up from where it’s resting at her hips to expose the soft skin of her stomach. Katya takes both of her plump ass cheeks in hand, squeezing and pulling her face inwards to kiss Trixie’s stomach just above the line of her panties. Trixie sighs at the touch of lips to her, her body pulling to Katya.

“Yeah,” Katya whispers as she pulls Trixie’s panties down, exposes her to the warm air that still feels cold against her bare skin. Trixie whimpers at the breeze. Katya’s licking her lips and Trixie lets her eyes close, the imprint of the light bulb a iridescent blue under her lids.

Katya first runs cold fingers over her lips, stroking her trimmed pubes, breathing on her skin. Trixie is chewing her bubblegum, breathing in heavily. Katya is teasing her, pressing kisses to the skin of her pelvis, and Trixie whines as she bites her skin gently.

“Ready?” Trixie’s eyes fly open to Katya kneeling in front of her, eyebrows raised and wiggling, wide wide grin.

Trixie nods frantically as Katya’s fingers are sneaking up her thigh. Katya huffs out a wheezing laugh and, essentially, dives in. 

Katya is fingering her, running her tongue rhythmically over her clit, Trixie is already so wet and it’s not going to take long because she can hear footsteps outside, a class must be ending and Katya is pulling back from her, licking Trixie’s juices off her lips and holding a finger (that was just inside Trixie) against her mouth to signal silence. Trixie didn’t even know that she was moaning.

Katya sucks on two of her own fingers for a moment before sliding them back inside Trixie, her jeans are wrinkled under her knees and at her waist from how her body is bent and her mouth is on Trixie again. Trixie brings one of her hands up to her mouth to bite on it so she won’t moan, there are still people in the hall-- Fuck! Trixie thinks that they’re maybe standing right outside of the door? Katya is speeding up and Trixie’s legs are weakening, her ankles are shaking. 

She takes her hand out of her mouth to whisper an urgent _Katya!_ and she’s cumming, Katya licking her hard through it until Trixie lets her legs give out, sliding down the wall to join Katya on the floor. Katya is already picking up her backpack, holding out a warm hand for Trixie to take (not the hand she’d fingered Trixie with). 

“Come freshen up?” Katya is smiling down at her and Trixie doesn’t get her. Her backpack is over one shoulder again, one of her hips popped and her sharp hipbone is visible through the denim. Trixie takes her hand and puts her skirt back on, buttoning it up.

Katya kicks the door open with her right foot, and there’s a yell from behind it. Pearl is standing there, talking to a girl Trixie’s never seen before.

Pearl, having barely recovered from Katya slamming the door open on her, turns to face the girls that had just exited the supply closet, eyes boggling as she realizes that one of them is Trixie.

“Katya! Where have you been, do you have class in an hour?” The short redhead is questioning, Katya swiveling to answer her after patting Pearl on the shoulder in apology.

“Wait. How you you know her? What’s going on? Not groovy, Trix, where were you, we were planning to meet outside fifteen minutes ago,” Pearl has grabbed Trixie’s arm and pulled her to the wall. Trixie’s head is spinning, it’s absolute chaos and Trixie doesn’t fully understand who Katya is and who that girl is with her.

“Who’s that?” Trixie gestures to the redhead.

“Ginger. She’s in my first class, and she smelled like weed so I asked her if I could, y’know, have some. And she said yeah but that she had to find her friend first,” Pearl is rolling her eyes as if Trixie should have known this beforehand.

“And Katya’s her friend,” Ginger is whispering in Katya’s ear and Katya is wheezing again, she’s also making eye contact with Trixie as she laughs. Trixie can feel another surge in her belly and her leg is still twitching from her orgasm.

Katya is pulling away from Ginger and towards Pearl and Trixie.

“Hey, hang on, will ya? I have to, uh, wash my hands,” Katya is snorting through her words, her teeth blinding and her eyes sparkling. She has wrinkles by her eyes that appear when she smiles and Trixie wants to touch her cheekbone. She’s so tan.

“Oh my Lord Jesus Christ,” Ginger is mumbling, squinting at Trixie, trailing behind Katya on her way to the bathroom, her clogs clacking on the floor. Her ass looks really fucking good in those pants. Trixie starts following them without thinking but Pearl pulls her back.

“What the fuck, Trixie?” Pearl is pulling at her arm, trying to get a response, Trixie can’t hear her because she’s swallowed her bubblegum thanks to Katya’s ass and how she turns back to wink at Trixie, wave over her shoulder to her. Trixie can hear her wheezing laugh echoing in the hall after the door to the bathroom closes behind them. “I didn’t know you knew her,” Trixie finally turns to Pearl.

“I don’t,” she says, shrugging and stepping in the direction of the front door. She’s going to buy some lunch and look over her schedule again. She turns when she doesn’t hear footsteps behind her, Pearl is still standing where Trixie left her.

“What the fuck?” Pearl repeats.

\- - -

Later that night as Trixie is slaving away over her first assignment, a short essay on the media influence of television, her phone rings. A plus that comes with being an only child that’s had jobs all her life, and a mother that’s obsessed with savings, Trixie has her own (studio) apartment, and her own phone.

She sets her pencil down and picks the pink phone up off the hook after a couple rings, immediately twirling the cord between her fingers unconsciously.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Trixie,” The voice is smiling and Trixie almost doesn’t place it.

“Katya?” It’s midnight and Trixie can’t see out of the window, the night is too dark, so she just looks at her reflection in the glass as Katya laughs. She realizes that she’s fixing her hair even though Katya can’t even _see_ her.

“Yea, it’s me! Katya!” She’s giggling and Trixie can’t help but smile and laugh too, she can see Katya’s intense eyes in the summer classroom light.

“Hey Katya,” Trixie pops her gum between her teeth, she’s twirling a curl around her finger.

“Hey,” Katya is smoking, Trixie can tell from the long inhales and exhales on the other end. “So, what’s up?”

“Well, I don’t know, you called me… to what? Talk? I mean, it’s midnight,” Trixie thinks, _and I don’t even know you_ , but she doesn’t say it.

“Well, I guess,” Katya sounds a little unsure now and Trixie’s heart clenches, then she mentally berates herself for it, why does she care what Katya feels? She literally doesn’t know her. But she does feel bad… and she does want to talk to Katya. “Sorry, I. I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow the-”

“No, wait, Katya! I’m doing a paper right now but we can still talk, I don’t mind,” Trixie interjects, and she can hear Katya take another drag from her side.

“Okay!” She can hear Katya’s smile, and she huffs a little giggle as she goes back to her paper. “What’s your paper about.”

“The implications of televising the war,” Trixie is scribbling words on the page, not really thinking about any of them. She’s sure that she’ll pass this class, anyway, and it’s just the first assignment.

“Shit, that’s heavy,” Katya mumbles, Trixie is imagining her lying in bed or on the floor, probably half-naked. She wants to see Katya’s skin.

“Yeah, it can be. Hey, how did you even get my number?” Trixie doesn’t know if she knows a single person that Katya knows. They don’t exactly seem to orbit in the same circles, the two of them.

“I have my ways,” Katya’s voice is strained like she’s trying not to laugh.

“Seriously! Don’t be a chump, I want to know,” Trixie has to erase the past few sentences, she has started to write down what Katya was saying.

“You write for _The Daily Californian_ ,” Katya says flatly. “I looked you up, I called the office.”

“And they gave you my number???” Trixie screeches, her pencil flinging out of her hand onto the floor. Pearl works at the front desk, answering calls, and Trixie is livid. She really shouldn’t be handing out Trixie’s number to anyone who asks for it.

“Well, yea, I recognized Pearl’s voice the second I called, she’s such a burn out. I told her who I was and that I wanted your number,” Katya is smiling again, Trixie can hear it.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Trixie sighs. She guesses she isn’t too mad at Pearl for giving Katya her number.

“God, Trixie, I am so fucking wired,” Katya breathes into the phone. “I’ve been smoking since I got home,” Her voice is low and grinding, the sound of it goes right to Trixie’s lower stomach.

“Maybe you should stop then,” Trixie takes off the braided white headband from across her forehead. She can see the imprint it made on her skin in her reflection in the window.

“Nah,” Katya wheezes, Trixie really likes her laugh. Soon they’re both joking about Pearl and how she’ll walk down the sidewalk from class to class just staring up at the clouds, stoned out of her mind.

Trixie sneaks a look at the pink clock seated on her desk, and her eyes widen when she sees that it’s 3am. She’s somehow finished her paper as she’s talked to Katya, and Katya’s words have been getting steadily slower and lower as the hours have gone on. Katya is chatting on and on about the _Communist Manifesto_ , how she thinks that it’s mostly good, but not all good, there could be some improvements.

Katya cuts her own words off with a yawn and Trixie hums into the receiver.

“Katya, I think it’s time to sleep,” She whispers, there’s rustling on the other end. “Are you in bed?” 

“Yeah, I’m in bed. Goodnight, Trix. Have a good night sleep, I bet you’re wearing a cute nightgown.”

Trixie is, and she smiles. “Goodnight, Katya. See you tomorrow,” She hangs up the phone and lifts herself up to go to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: chapter 2 is here! this is my fave chapter, i think. ive had most of this written and the next chapter will be up in the next few days. there's a lot of drug use in this chapter (just weed) and a lot of smut, so... filler chapter! but also kind of not, idk. hope you like!!!

Trixie gets up early the next morning, she’s exhausted but thankfully her paper is finished waiting at her desk. She sneaks a glance at the pink phone hanging on the wall, maybe Katya was a dream? She’s sure that she dreamt about Katya and her hair and her hips in those jeans, anyway. 

Trixie hops in the shower and lathers her washcloth with her soap. As she runs the pink washcloth over her body she smells like roses and if she’s honest, she’s proud of all of the pink things she’s gathered over the years, her apartment really is entirely baby pink. She hopes that she smells pink, too, and that Katya likes that.

Trixie can’t help but think of Katya’s pretty mouth wrapped around a cigarette or a joint, moist lips circling any object, really, or biting with her teeth. Or sticking out her tongue, biting her lip. Trixie can’t help but allow her hand to travel down her stomach, the hot water making her a little dizzy, the steam hovering above her head around on the ceiling, and she starts to stroke herself, tries to mimic the movements Katya’s clever tongue made on her yesterday morning, almost 24 hours ago.

Trixie is openly moaning imagining Katya’s breasts against hers, she’s pinching her left nipple and whining, her jaw is open and there are tight waves of pleasure in her stomach rippling upwards, she wishes Katya was here with her with her hair wet, kneeling on the floor as her tongue curls inside of Trixie, her eyes closed and her forehead smooth and tan.

Trixie sticks two fingers in like Katya did, crooks them back and forth and explores herself like Katya did, she had clever fingers that twisted and turned and rubbed and Trixie is so enamored with her, how she hummed into Trixie’s opening and how it vibrated her tongue inside her. 

She wants Katya’s wet body against hers, she wants their nipples rubbing against each other’s. She thinks that Katya likes her breasts, how could she not, Trixie knows they’re wonderful, she’d seen her staring at them in class and her eyes flicked down to look after the light was switched on in the supply closet, and she wants Katya to knead them and kiss them and lick them and suck on her nipples, bite little marks into them and moan into her skin.

“Katya,” she whispers, it spills out of her mouth and she’s so fucked, she wants to say Katya’s name over and over and over and she does, she keeps whispering it and feeling it on her tongue and through her teeth as she cums, still pinching her nipple hard, harder, hissing with it through her whispered prayer.

Once her aftershocks have passed, the twitching of her thighs and wrists fading from where her warm skin is pressed to the cold wall, she rushes to wash her long hair and body before the water turns cold. She’s still sensitive and as she rubs the pink washcloth over her breasts that she knows are much bigger than Katya’s, this morning she’ll come into class a little later and Katya might already be there, and she’ll smell like roses and Katya will look at her.

\- - -

Katya comes into class early, she does it mostly on accident, she was ready early enough to take an earlier bus and so she’s here, about a half hour before lecture in the classroom reading _Helping Yourself with White Witchcraft_. She really didn’t mean to be here so early and it’s stressing her out, her glasses keep sliding down her face and she keeps yanking the thin wire bows up.

She doesn’t actually _need_ the glasses, but they cover almost her entire face and she thinks that they’re so beautiful, plus they make her look smart. She’s trying to not think about Trixie, she really is and it’s not working. She’s reading about incense and she can’t focus, not when the clock is ticking away in the silent room and it feels like she’s deep inside the belly of a whale, or a tomb made of steel.

The clock is ticking so loudly and she doesn’t know what she’ll do when Trixie gets here.

People start filing in and, predictably, gravitating to the seats they had all claimed the day before. Katya quickly sticks her backpack on the chair Trixie was sitting in yesterday, she doesn’t want anyone to sit there before Trixie can get here.

When Trixie comes in the door she’s in a pink dress and Katya wants it off ‘cause her breasts are straining at the top, and her white blonde hair is flowing behind her so gently curled. Fuck. Katya is floored by her, she looks like she’s walking in a dream or a montage and Katya pulls her backpack off of the chair, grins at Trixie’s puzzled look.

Trixie sits down and she smells so good, like flowers. Katya wants to touch her long hair and she wants to touch the tiny braids coming back from her forehead to circle behind her head. Trixie’s baby hairs are tiny and curling in little bangs in a crown around her round face, they contrast with her tan, freckled skin in such a way, Katya wants to touch her forehead.

Trixie is saying something and Katya isn’t listening because her hair is falling off of her shoulders in front of her breasts and Katya’s glasses are falling down again.

“Hey,” Trixie reaches over and pushes the glasses up the bridge of Katya’s nose, so they’re sitting comfortably. Katya can’t help but giggle a little.

“Hi,” she smiles, Trixie’s hand is still hovering in the air in front of Katya’s face, in the row between them.

Trixie smiles and doesn’t say anything more, pulls her hand back, Katya closes the book and slides it into her bag next to her desk.

“You’re a witch?” Trixie is smirking at Katya. Katya feels her heart beat even faster, she doesn’t know why but she likes Trixie’s soft lips.

“I mean, yeah, not super seriously, though,” Katya says, and they’re both smiling, Katya doesn’t know why but Trixie’s gorgeous and Katya wants her whole fucking body underneath her but outside, in the sunshine, maybe next to a pool in the overwhelming heat, Trixie’s sweat mixing with her own.

“Okay, that’s cool,” Trixie is pulling her notebook and pink pen out of her backpack and Katya is so charmed by it, her pink water bottle and her pink pencil bag and her pink backpack and her pink dress and pink shoes and pink lacy socks.

“You like pink?” Katya says flatly, sarcastically, but her heart is fluttering, it’s, like, embarrassing her and Trixie doesn’t even know that it’s happening.

“It’s my favorite color,” Trixie is smirking at her again and Katya hates how her smiling lips float right down to curl in her stomach.

“It’s cute,” Katya’s glasses are falling down again so she pushes them up, pushes her hair off of her face and turns to face the front of the class as the professor begins the lecture.

\- - -

Lecture is over again and Katya is having déjà vu, how Trixie is leaning over to pack up her bag so Katya can see the curve of her ass in her dress. Katya’s horny, Trixie was jiggling her foot through the entire lecture and Katya kept imagining sliding that tiny pink lace sock down her tan ankle to expose it and kiss the bottom of her foot, kiss up her calf and then kiss the inside of those fucking thighs again, dig her fingers into them and squeeze.

Katya’s fingers are itching for a cigarette and she wonders if Trixie will come out to the grass and sit with her when she smokes.

Trixie is standing now and Katya raises her eyebrows.

“Join me outside?” Trixie smiles sweetly, close-mouthed, and nods, and Katya can’t control her grin as she leads her out of the classroom, down the hall and out the door into the sunshine.

Katya stops just outside the building and sits in the grass, she’s in the same jeans as yesterday but she has a white tank on, she’s still sweating through it and she hopes that Trixie notices her nipples. Katya owns one bra and she doesn’t wear it.

Katya stretches out onto the grass in the dappled sunlight, Trixie settling next to her sweetly in her tiny dress, bending her legs to the side so she doesn’t flash anyone. Katya needs to get on that poolside nude tanning fantasy, as soon as possible. She’s sure that Trixie would love it.

Trixie pulls out a textbook and Katya lights her cig, the air is dry and still and there are students all around, Trixie and Katya don’t speak for a while but the silence, Katya finds, is really nice. She can hear Trixie breathe next to her and turn the pages of her book, hum a little when she figures something out. Katya wants to keep her, she’s a Barbie doll, Malibu Barbie. With her deep tan and trillions of freckles and pink clothes, Katya wants to fuck her all day and watch TV with her at night. 

Trixie would look so fucking good in a tiny, strapless blue swimsuit, too. Her breasts would almost fall out and her hard nipples would press through the fabric when she got out of the water. Her butt would look incredible with the elastic pressing into her skin, Trixie’s butt is so big, Jesus.

“Hey, Trix, you want to hang out this weekend? I have the apartment to myself, Ginger’s going back to Florida to grab some stuff she forgot at home,” like, why not ask her? Katya does have the house to herself and she’s obsessed with Trixie’s curves and the way she bites her bottom lip. Maybe she’ll even say yes. If she does, then Katya will know she’s a keeper.

“Hmmm, I have a lot of work to do, you know, first week,” Trixie had looked up at Katya quickly when Katya had posed the question, face unreadable, and looked back down at the words on the page just as quickly. Katya takes a drag of her second cig and waits. “But, I guess if I can do the work at your place.”

It’s not a question, and Katya grins around her cig, turning to face Trixie. The sun is in her eyes between the leaves but she thinks that Trixie is maybe smirking down at the page.

“Sounds good,” Katya says, and she hopes that it’s smooth and nonchalant. She pulls out a notebook and newly-sharpened pencil from her backpack. “Here’s my address,” She scribbles the letters and numbers in her half-cursive and Trixie takes it with her delicate hand.

“Okay,” Trixie is smiling.

“Okay, see you then!” Katya hops up and swings her backpack over her shoulder, walking in the direction of her next class without turning back. She can’t stop smiling, and she’s sure that people are looking at her but she’s long since broken the barrier of fear of looking stupid in public. All she can think of is Trixie and how hopefully she’ll sleep with her in her bed both Friday and Saturday night.

\- - -

Katya calls her every other night that week. They don’t talk about that first day, but they’re both thinking it as they chat for hours and hours, Trixie’s never really connected with a girl as quickly as she’s connected with Katya. Katya is witty and silly and Trixie likes to imagine Katya in her pajamas, or naked, lying on her bed smoking and talking to Trixie, all of her attention on her joint and on Trixie’s voice.

They have two other classes together before Friday, and they end up coming in at almost the same time for both of them. At the end of their last class on Thursday, Katya winks at her and says she’ll see her Friday evening, and Trixie feels heat spread across her chest.

\- - -

Trixie hops off the bus at the corner of Katya’s street, she can see Katya’s apartment building in the middle of the block. She’s nervous, but at the same time she feels strangely calm. She doesn’t have to, she doesn’t know, _date_ Katya, all she’s doing is coming over to visit her. At her apartment.

Which doesn’t have to be a big deal. Trixie would be fine with just a shag, she’s trying to bring her focus off of dating and girls this year, she’s almost graduated and she just wants to focus on her schoolwork for the time being. Any relationships and/or sex are just, like, completely secondary.

Trixie’s still dressed well, she’s not playing around when it comes to looking good, not ever. 

She’s wearing her white boots and her bare legs are a little sweaty underneath but they’re just so cute, and she has her favorite pink dress on that shows off her tan thighs. She looks cute, with silver lipgloss and blush and spidery lashes, she knows Katya will like it.

Trixie spots a dandelion in the sidewalk as she’s almost at the steps to Katya’s, and she picks it and settles it behind her ear. Perfect.

Katya told her over the phone to just walk up the stairs and go to the left, and sure enough there’s a door with a tied bouquet of wildflowers hanging from the peephole. Trixie knocks tentatively and it swings open almost immediately.

“Hey!” The smell of weed almost knocks Trixie backwards, Katya is seemingly surrounded in smoke and all of the lights are off in the apartment, there are tapestries hung on almost every wall Trixie can see behind Katya and there’s a big window in the main room that looks out on the street which is providing the room with gray light.

“Hi,” Trixie can’t help but smile, Katya is wearing a tiny, faded, yellow tank top with no bra (does she own a single one?) and plaid boxers, her eyelids are lowered a little and she leans in for a hug, which Trixie accepts. Katya’s breasts are pressing against hers and Trixie feels a little warmth dripping down into her stomach.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Trixie. I hope you brought your homework and stuff,” Katya is turning back into the apartment, goes back to sit cross-legged on the couch, gesturing towards Trixie to come sit next to her. Trixie pulls off her boots and leaves them and her bag by the door, joins Katya on the couch which is covered in patterned pillows.

The coffee table is piled in junk, books on witchcraft and incense and handfuls of pamphlets from political organizations. Katya also has multiple glass jars and tiny embroidered bags of weed, dried orange peels stuffed in them and scattered across the wood table. 

It’s very homey and very Katya, messy but somehow organized, the books are filled with bookmarks or turned over, still open, and some of them are covered in dust. Katya also has a full bottle of white wine open on the table for them to share.

“I did, so I can stay over?” Trixie doesn’t care if she’s being too upfront, and she guesses that Katya probably likes it because her small smile blossoms into a huge grin at Trixie’s question.

“Yes! Please! I have, like, three beds in the whole pad. Well, mattresses. But, I mean, if I’m lucky, we’ll just need the one,” Katya is picking up the blunt from the ashtray on the coffee table, placing it between her lips and lighting it, taking a long drag. 

Trixie accepts it when Katya is done, still holding the smoke in her lungs peacefully, eyes slid shut and head titled back on the couch. Her legs are spread wide and Trixie can see the blonde hairs on her thighs shining in the gray light. Trixie takes a deep drag and turns to Katya, who’s tapping her on the shoulder. Katya’s exhaled and her pupils are wide, glassy and she’s so close to Trixie.

Katya takes the dandelion out from behind Trixie’s ear and puts it behind her own.

“Can we shotgun?” Katya whispers into Trixie’s face. Trixie nods and immediately presses her mouth to Katya’s, opening and letting the smoke spill between her firm lips. Katya’s body feels more stretchy and pliable in her own living room, out of her tight jeans, and Trixie climbs on top of her without thinking, her skirt restricting how far her thighs can stretch across Katya’s torso. She hikes up her skirt around her stomach to be able to stretch her legs, sitting her ass on Katya’s upper thighs.

They’re still kissing, Katya’s tongue is warm and strong and Trixie feels fuzzy and she isn’t even high yet. Katya’s fingers are resting on her cheek so gently they almost hurt her, they sting, then Katya is pulling back to take another drag of the blunt that Trixie is still holding precariously, pulling Trixie’s hand over to bring it to her mouth.

Trixie leans in to accept the smoke from Katya’s mouth and they go back and forth for what seems like hours, years. Trixie’s lips are numb and at some point she’s been zipped out of her dress and it’s crumpled on the floor. They’re lying across the couch and it’s getting darker outside, Trixie can see the white-blue of Katya’s eyes in the dusk. 

They lie there for a long while, Katya’s hair between her fingers and passing the bottle between them. Katya opens the window at one point and Trixie can look at the back of her thighs and her ass in the shorts, she pinches Katya’s leg when she sits back down.

Trixie is really, very high, her fingers aren’t moving as quickly as she’d like them to up and down Katya’s sides. She’s warm in just her bra and panties and Katya’s tank top is missing, her nipples are hot hot hot against Trixie’s limbs, she can feel them on her skin somewhere.

“Well, aren’t you pretty,” Katya whispers, eyelids heavy and droopy. Trixie leans up and kisses each of them lightly, Katya humming a tiny sigh when Trixie’s lips touch her skin. “Am I dying?”

Trixie giggles, the air from her nose making Katya’s lashes flutter.

“You’re not, shhhhh,” the silence of the room is tight against them and Trixie’s pushing a hand over Katya’s forehead to push her flyaways back into her hairline, to cool her off. There’s a tiny bead of sweat rolling down her temple and Trixie wipes it away, kissing the spot where it used to be. “You’re pretty.”

Katya smiles slowly, leans up to kiss Trixie, just a quick peck on the lips.

They fall asleep there on the couch, tangled in each other in the hazy living room.

\- - -

Trixie spends the weekend at Katya’s in a haze, a good haze, Katya plays records at full volume and they lie on the couch or in Katya’s bed naked and make out, and fuck, Katya is so hot and Trixie develops an obsession with eating her out.

Katya makes these tiny groans when Trixie’s mouth is on her, she sweats all down her stomach and Trixie can trace the tiny beads with her tickling fingers all the way up to right below her breasts, pinch her nipples and Katya will let out a long hiss, ending with a whimper. Trixie likes to lick Katya’s skin, she smells like herbs and weed and the earth, maybe it’s because she’s a witch but Trixie doesn’t know, doesn’t care, doesn’t think about it. Katya is smaller than her and she pulls her long hair back in a ponytail a lot. 

Trixie likes to kiss the back of her neck and they go through almost all of Katya’s weed, Trixie’s never smoked so much in such a short time before but she feels like she’s living in a dream world. And all she’s ever wanted is in the apartment, with Katya whispering stories of her family in Boston, about her favorite books. Katya lights incense and whispers while she does it, Trixie wants to know what she’s saying. 

Trixie is in a daze, and Katya is too, and Trixie showers with Katya kneeling on the floor like she had touched herself to on Monday morning, Katya whimpering onto her clit, rubbing herself off at the same time.

Trixie doesn’t wear makeup the entire time, Katya kisses her eyelids and massages her calves and her hands and her back. Katya rubs oils into her skin and kisses her shoulders reverently, on the rug under red light from the curtain Katya drapes across the window to block the hot sun on Sunday morning. And Trixie does finish her homework, clacking on Katya’s typewriter with a cig hanging out of her mouth that Katya shares with her as she reads over Trixie’s shoulder.

Trixie doesn’t want to think it when she leaves that night to hop on the bus to her studio, but she could easily fall in love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOVE and SMUT! this fic is just me living in my own dream world lmao. here's chapter 3, there will be at least one chapter after this but maybe two, i dont know yet! writing this fic is just like, purely for my own enjoyment so i hope you like. shout out to every single nice commenter i love all of you infinitely and everyone i have interacted with on here and on tumblr has made my past few months so joyful!!! im so glad that you love my gals <3 hope you all like this chapter!!!

It all culminates when Trixie fails her News Writing class.

They’ve been fucking for an entire semester, and Katya’s been listening to Trixie as she worries and worries about this class, her professor hates her and he’s failing her because she’s a woman, she just _knows_ it, and Katya’s heart is in thousands of tiny little pieces over it. Katya’s worried herself sick over it, and she knows that they’re really just friends, that Trixie doesn’t want a girlfriend, they’ve talked about it on the phone late in the night and Katya had been completely sober for that conversation, and her heart had dropped low down in her stomach.

But, disregarding that colossal disappointment, Katya’s been cuddling in the pink sheets with Trixie, sharing joints with her and eating strawberries as Trixie tries not to let tears fall about the class and her evil, evil professor.

And Katya can’t fix it, she wants more than anything to be able to but she can’t, so she just kisses Trixie’s bitten down lips with her own fruity, syrupy ones, running her tongue along Trixie’s teeth and straddling her, tickling her sides so Trixie giggles and forgets about it for a second. 

Katya’s in love with her.

When Trixie throws her head back to laugh loudly, as Katya’s touching her, she’s in a tiny silk nightgown and her giant breasts are falling out of it, her nipples are hard and she’s got goosebumps blossoming up her tan arms and across her soft breasts, Katya is so overwhelmingly in love with her.

So when Trixie fails the class and is sure that she won’t be able to graduate without it, Katya hurts, too.

\- - -

Katya runs up the stairs and pounds her open palm frantically on the door of Trixie’s apartment. She’d run the whole way, and she’s breathing heavily, coughing and almost choking with how out of breath she is. She should probably stop smoking.

“Trixie! Trixie, I’m here, are you in there? Trix, please. Open up. I’m here,” Katya is yelling, she’s sure that the neighbors are probably angry and then the door swings open and Trixie is in her arms, sobbing loudly and squeezing her tight.

“Shhhhh, I’m here,” Katya directs her to the bed slowly, closing the door behind them. “I’m here, just lie down,” Trixie is shaking and Katya wishes she could help, she wishes she could make it all better right now. Trixie’s tears are shoving a cold knife through her heart, Katya can’t have her be sad.

Trixie is in her white bra and underwear, and Katya recognizes the panties as the same ones that Trixie wore that first day. Trixie’s arms and thighs are covered in goosebumps and Katya holds Trixie’s face between her hands as she cries, kisses her forehead.

“Are you cold, Dolly?” Katya whispers into her hairline and as Trixie nods, still sobbing and gasping, Katya pulls the sheets over them, up to their necks and over Trixie’s cold arms. “There you go. Now just let it out,” Katya is breathing deep breaths herself, in the hopes that Trixie might match them, like she does when they’re fucking or cuddling or sitting next to each other. Trixie might not know it but Katya notices it. She does.

Trixie is holding onto Katya’s biceps so tight, Katya is sure that she’s currently bruising. She lets her, and she strokes her hair, her sobs are becoming lesser now but tears are still running down her cheeks freely, mascara running with them. Katya’s heart is clenching and squeezing. She pulls up some of the sheet to wipe the tears off of Trixie’s cheeks.

“Are you okay? It’s going to be okay, Barbie,” Katya whispers into her ear and gets a nod, a sniffle. Trixie’s stopped sobbing now and she’s stuffed her nose into Katya’s shoulder.

“You look like Malibu Barbie,” Trixie cries into Katya’s skin. Katya huffs a laugh into her warm, delicate ear.

“Thanks, kitty,” Katya cuddles in closer and presses a kiss on her skull through her hair. Trixie’s let go of her arms and now her arms are wrapped around Katya’s waist. 

“I don’t ever want to cry again,” Trixie sounds waterlogged, like there are bubbles in her throat. She’s Katya’s mermaid.

“That’s okay,” Katya whispers, her hands making a path from Trixie’s jaw to her back, rubbing gently with her fingernails. Trixie sighs into her, she’s so warm and still shaking a little. The lamp on Trixie’s desk is dim and Katya can smell her soap and shampoo.

“Katya,” Trixie breathes it, almost silently. She’s said it, in that single word. Katya knows what she’s going to say.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” Trixie is holding her so tight, her body is frozen in Katya’s arms. 

Katya’s heart still floats up on little bubbles, hearing it from behind Trixie’s teeth in her little Wisconsin accent makes Katya’s lips turn up involuntarily, makes her throat close up. She can feel tears on her cheeks but she doesn’t know why she’s crying them. Her toes curl up against the cool sheets.

“Trixie,” Katya pulls back to face her, Trixie’s face is like stone, like she doesn’t expect anything, maybe doesn’t dare expect anything, Katya can see the insecurities flashing in her blue eyes and she can see the tiny wrinkle between her eyebrows. “Trixie, I love you too.”

Trixie smiles, still-leaking tears and all, kisses Katya sloppily and it tastes like salt, Katya’s tongue tracing Trixie’s cupid’s bow and Trixie’s nose hissing air onto Katya’s upper lip.

Katya pulls back, she can’t kiss Trixie now, not when she’s still crying and sniffling and not when her breaths are still hitching a little.

“We can kiss in the morning,” Katya sighs onto her smooth, damp cheek.

Trixie sobs, loud, and she’s set off again. Katya just holds her, lets her cry, wiping the tears from her cheekbones methodically and running her fingers through Trixie’s golden hair. It’s shining in the dim orange light and Katya lets her eyes lose their focus among the strands.

\- - -

Katya wakes up in the morning with Trixie cuddled into her lap still. Trixie looks tiny there, the white sheets forming a crumpled halo around her head and swaddling her body. Her closed, fluttering eyelids are puffy and red from crying and sleep, and Katya wants to wash her salty face with a gentle washcloth, stroke her irritated eyelids and bruised, bloody lips from chewing on them all day. She settles for waiting until Trixie wakes up, scoots down the bed so that she can take Trixie’s warm body into her arms. Trixie snuffles in her sleep and heaves a sigh, and Katya can’t help but smile.

Katya is matching Trixie’s breathing again, like she always does. She drifts off to the feeling of Trixie’s soft breath on her chest and the sound of her breathing, like a rocking ship on a tiny, tiny pond.

When she wakes up Trixie is watching her with bloodshot, dry eyes (she keeps blinking) and Katya rubs the sleep out of her own.

“Hey, Dolly,” she lifts a half-asleep hand to press her palm against Trixie’s cheek. She feels like a nun, a baptism through her skin into Trixie’s pores, Trixie breathing in deep as she touches her. She can feel her life line against the soft, sticky-from-tears skin of Trixie’s face, her thumb stroking the soft, invisible hairs in the warm corner of Trixie’s mouth. 

_I love you_ , she remembers, and her eyes follow Trixie’s tiny smile lines up to her blue, blue eyes. Trixie’s pupils are tiny, her red veins are redder from tears and her eyes are still glassy. “I love you,” Katya whispers. And it feels like breathing, slowly.

\- - -

Trixie figures her classes out and Katya comes with her for moral support to the School of Journalism office. She holds Trixie’s hand all the way up the stairs and lets go at the foggy glass door, kissing her on the pale, nervous cheek as a goodbye and good luck.

Katya whispers _I love you_ as Trixie puts her hand on the metal door handle and Trixie turns back at her, smiles and whispers it back before disappearing into the quiet office. Katya sits on a hard wooden chair in the dim hallway, her glasses are falling down her face again and she just takes them off.

She’s probably just as nervous as Trixie and now, as Trixie’s probably shaking in her little pink shoes on the grey carpet inside Katya allows herself one tear, one moment of nerves and shaking fingers before she pulls herself together so that she can support Trixie however she needs when she comes out the door in a few minutes.

When she does she’s quiet but smiling, like she’s trying to hold it back, and Katya grins and pulls her in.

“It went good?” Katya whispers into her soft hair. She’s buried her entire face into it and Trixie smells like roses as always.

Trixie pulls back, nodding and kisses Katya on the nose with her plush lips. 

“Yeah it did, I figured out what I have to take, just one extra class next semester and I’m good,” Trixie’s eyes are filling with tears and Katya kisses right below both of them quickly.

“Let’s go get milkshakes,” Katya grins. Trixie laughs and wipes her tears, takes Katya’s hand again as they walk out of the building, Katya’s wood clogs clacking on the marble floor.

\- - -

Katya’s old orange Volkswagen bus is rusted on the hubcaps, when Trixie pulls the handle to open the door it squeaks loudly, and inside it’s covered in drapery and pillows and blankets, clashing patterns abound.

It’s finally summer and Trixie’s extra workload last semester was enough to drive her crazy under normal circumstances. She had been concerned about how her relationship with Katya would work out when she had endless homework and endless stress, but Katya was surprisingly okay with just sitting around and doing her assigned readings late into the night on Trixie’s floor or in her wicker chair, a pillow on her lap, nodding off and getting up whenever Trixie turned the lights off, climbing into bed with her and just cuddling Trixie’s aching body as they both drifted off to sleep in the quiet dark.

Katya decided that the one thing she would plan this summer was a trip to Pride for all of them, and Trixie is excited to go but she’s mostly worried about Katya driving them there and if Katya made the reservations at the motel properly, and she’s kept her hands off with the exception of gentle reminders that have made Katya’s eyes widen and caused her to run to the nearest payphone, whisper frantically into it as Trixie giggles to herself off to the side.

“Trix! Can you come help me with this,” Katya is carrying a huge basket filled with nonperishable items, her biceps more defined in her tight yellow tank top. She has a god-awful colorful knit sweater over it, it’s fucking hot out but she’s wearing it anyway, and it’s falling off of both shoulders and pooling at her inner elbows where Trixie knows that she’s left a hickey. Trixie hops back out of the bus and flounces over to where all of the items are piled up on the sidewalk outside of Katya and Ginger’s apartment. “Just take what you can carry, babe,” Katya winks at her.

“Shut up!” Trixie piles pillows (they need MORE pillows?) in her arms, and a jug of water in each hand. It’s only an hour’s drive, why does Katya have to be so _dramatic_.

Katya’s ass is sticking out from where she’s bent, setting the basket down amongst all the other junk, and Trixie is suddenly overtaken with the need to touch, Katya’s wearing the tightest shorts and a big, clunky belt, as usual, and her long hair is brushed out, flowing over the curve of her back.

“Hey, Katya?” Katya mumbles a _huh?_ from inside the car. “No, Katya. When do we have to leave,” Trixie’s whispering, one hand on the car door and the other in the pocket of her skirt, she can’t touch Katya here in the street because then she won’t be able to trust herself to not take it further. Publically.

Katya whirls around, hair flying, and smirks at Trixie. “Come in here,” she’s climbing further into the bus, her ass is seated on the floor now, legs spread wide, she’s patting the rug between them.

“... Fine,” Trixie climbs in after her, to Katya’s screeching delight, and Katya reaches to slide the door shut behind her. They only have mere minutes before Ginger and Pearl come out, and Katya’s closing the curtain that separates the front two seats from the back, then her hands are all up and over Trixie, she’s squeezing her tits _hard_ , her tongue is in Trixie’s mouth. She tastes like weed.

Trixie pulls off her pink cowgirl boots.

“Please,” Trixie gasps as Katya bites her earlobe, she can feel Katya’s smile against her neck.

“All right,” Katya whispers against her, Trixie shivering at her hot breath as Katya slides down her body.

“Dang,” Trixie breathes as she cums, wide eyes crossing, seeing stars.

\- - -

Katya drives all of them precariously the whole hour to San Francisco, and she chain smokes in anxiety the entire way. Trixie keeps closing her eyes in the passenger seat, but she lets Katya squeeze her hand tightly in celebration whenever she successfully merges onto the highway. Katya keeps running her hand through her hair until it’s permanently stuck up a little bit in the front, and long strands of it keep flying into Trixie’s face from the wind of Katya’s wide open window.

“Be careful!” Trixie screeches as Katya is cut off by a pickup truck, there are a lot of gays on the highway, Trixie guesses. There are four other men in the bed of the truck and they’re hanging on for dear life. It’s giving Trixie anxiety. Katya is spewing curses into the air, smoke puffing out of her nose and mouth, Trixie’s heart has stopped and started violently a thousand times. 

They get two cheap motel rooms just outside of the city. Katya pulls into the parking lot and the bus does a ‘chug,’ the gas needle plunging down after about fifteen minutes of precarious balance.

“Shit,” Katya groans, Trixie is next to her in the passenger seat and her hair smells like weed, her back is aching from an hour on the busted leather.

“Pearl, come out and push with me, Trix can you steer?” Katya is already half out the door, long hair flying behind her. The metal slams against metal as the door closes and Trixie winces. Something smells like gasoline.

“Okay, you steering, Barbie?” Katya is yelling, and Trixie turns the wheel to make it into the parking spot just in front of the main door. Trixie puts on the brake and hops out of the front, Ginger and Alaska climbing out of the side with half of the bags haphazardly hung on all of their limbs and backs.

Trixie can look all around her and see trees, hills. It’s like she’s in Wisconsin, and her heart skips a beat seeing Katya’s coloring in the blue green background of a smoky forest. She’s wearing massive clear sunglasses that cover her entire face, with purple lenses, and her lips are bruised from biting them in anxiety from the drive. 

“This place is neat,” Katya is looking through purple glass at the motel, it’s run down and definitely not ‘neat’ but Trixie likes how Katya can get excited about anything, literally anything. “Let’s tube it,” Katya groans impatiently, and Pearl rolls her eyes, goes through the door to the front desk to get their room keys.

“I’m tripping,” Alaska’s whispering, staring into the trees, she probably is actually tripping since Trixie and Katya were separated from the three in the back of the bus the entire ride. They could have taken anything and Trixie would have been way too focused on preventing Katya from crashing to know. 

Trixie rolls her eyes and leaves Alaska and Ginger to grab her own duffle bag out of the back. It’s pink and covered in patches, she’s been buying as many patches as she can in college so that she can have the bag as a memory later. Lately, Katya has been making her buy doubles for each patch so that she can put them on her own, so they can match.

Pearl comes out with the keys and passes one to Trixie, they all had decided that it would be better for everyone if her and Katya got their own room, and Trixie hadn’t made a fuss either way. She loves the idea of fucking Katya in the scratchy motel room sheets.

\- - -

Trixie wakes up at 7am the next morning, Katya is missing from the sheets next to her but her pillow is still indented, and the corner of Trixie’s is indented too from where Katya slept right up close to her face. Trixie can hear the birds outside and the sheets smell faintly of cigarettes. She can hear the shower running, muffled by the wood paneled wall next to the bed. She could join Katya in it, but she’d rather lie here and wait for Katya to come out in a towel or just underwear, skin still damp and water running down the small of her back and her thighs from her hair.

Trixie lies there staring at the ceiling and the walls and the wood chair in the corner, sleepily. When the water turns off she rubs her eyes and stretches her arms, they pop and her muscles ache from being cramped in the car seat for even such a short time yesterday.

Trixie can hear something fall to the ground in the bathroom, and she huffs a sleepy laugh as Katya grumbles to herself. When Katya pads out into the main room, Trixie’s eyes scan her up and down immediately, she’s just in white lacy panties and Trixie can see curly blonde hair peeking out from under the elastic. Katya’s nipples are hard and her stomach looks soft and Trixie wants to touch so badly. She pulls a hand out from under the covers and beckons her over.

Katya smirks and climbs onto the bed, arching her back and sticking her butt in the air, and she’s putting on a show just to be funny but Trixie shifts her hips in anticipation anyway, squeezes her thighs together and bites her lip as the heat in the bottom of her stomach begins to boil. Katya watches her body shift with interested, sparkling eyes that are green in the dim light of the motel room. Trixie wants Katya to fuck her until she screams.

Katya scoots up so that she’s seated on Trixie’s stomach, legs spread.Trixie likes how the sharp bones of her ass are poking into her tummy, she likes the sharp contrast of her softness and wide hips with Katya’s sharp bones and tiny, round butt and little breasts. Trixie reaches up to take Katya’s chin in her hand, pulling her face down hard, connecting their lips with her morning breath and Katya’s minty teeth.

Katya is kissing her so hard, she’s been so enthusiastic since they’ve said that they love each other and it makes Trixie’s heart ache, makes her wish she had said it sooner. But it’s too late for that and now Katya can kiss her hard without reserve and she can suck on Trixie’s tongue even though Trixie has morning breath and let out a long sigh through her nose.

Katya is grinding down onto Trixie’s stomach and Trixie takes one of her hands and pulls it gently towards her to signal what she wants, and Katya breaks the kiss to climb off of her and pull her panties off. Trixie can smell her and she wants her on her mouth immediately, wants her warm and wet and groaning and twitching. She wants Katya’s thighs to squeeze her skull on accident so she has to tap her knee over to the side more. 

Katya is kneeling next to her on the white sheets and Trixie is so wet looking at her, her strong shoulders and her sharp collarbone and her wide pupils. Katya is stroking Trixie’s cheek with her thumb, and Trixie knows that she’s blushing under Katya’s gaze. She can see how Katya loves her and it’s overwhelming, celestial.

Trixie loses her patience, though, she needs Katya on top of her _right now_ , so she digs her fingers into Katya’s tan, strong thigh and pulls, Katya huffs a laugh and climbs over Trixie, sitting on her chest now and Trixie can feel her pubes tickling her skin and she wants Katya on her mouth, she’s drooling with it. Katya wheezes a long laugh at the hungry look on her face and she comes up on her hips, pulling the pillow Trixie’s head is resting on down so that she’s lying flat, and settles herself on Trixie’s mouth. 

She’s so wet and warm and Trixie immediately lets her grind down onto her nose, running her tongue over her again and again in long, sweeping strokes. Katya is moaning behind her gritted teeth and Trixie can’t see her face since her eyes are closed unconsciously but she’s sure that her eyes are rolled back into her head like she does right when Trixie starts touching her.

Katya acts like every time Trixie touches her is the first time and Trixie isn’t even being touched but her toes are curling and she can feel her thighs getting wet under the sheets as she massages Katya’s clit with her tongue. 

She moans into Katya, sticks her tongue in as far as she can and Katya’s hips buck up against her, she brings her fingers over from where they’re pinching Katya’s thighs and replaces her tongue with two of them. Katya is hovering over her and her legs are shaking but she’s leaving most of her weight on Trixie’s jaw and Trixie doesn’t mind at all, not when she’s making those wonderful little whimpers.

Trixie is breathing heavily through her nose and she can tell that Katya’s almost at the very edge. Her hips are still thrusting but less frantically and with less of a rhythm.

“Trixie,” Katya sighs out and Trixie takes some of the long, golden hairs above her nose in between her fingers and _pulls_ and Katya shouts at her release, Trixie giggling a little into her as she falls to the side, immediately stretching a hand down to rub Trixie off, Trixie involuntarily thrusting against her fingers, and Trixie is soon twitching and biting Katya’s warm shoulder with a long whine.

“Baby,” Katya is whispering as she tangles their limbs together. Trixie is smiling into her hair, and she doesn’t know who’s arms are whose and who’s legs are whose but it’s warm and damp and Katya’s skin is soft, and she drifts off to sleep again, it’s early and the sun is rising in the curtains but Katya is all around her, her breath is rocking her to sleep. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Katya,” Trixie likes to say her name.

\- - -

Trixie has never felt so alive-- there are bodies pressed up all around her and Katya is holding her hand so tightly, she can feel her emotions bubbling high into her throat, it’s loud and they’ve lost the other girls. Trixie is high on weed and life and her heavy love for Katya around her, shorter than her, her skin and blue eyes and soft, tangled hair and her incense and white wine.

It’s grey out but the sun is hot behind the clouds and Trixie feels scared but there’s Katya next to her, holding on tight. Trixie feels endless, impossible, celestial, like Katya would say. Katya is yelling and laughing and stretching to her tippy-toes to kiss Trixie’s cheek and Trixie stops her, holds her so tightly.

Everyone is bumping around them joyfully and angrily, but all Trixie can feel is the tan, warm skin of Katya’s arms. She’s looking into her eyes, they’re so blue and they’re knowing and proud. Her crows-feet are deep and her teeth are white and she’s holding her cigarette in her left hand. 

Trixie kisses her hard and open-mouthed and they’re on the streets of San Francisco, in the daylight, with so many people around them. Katya pulls back first.

“God, I love you,” she says, her face right there in front of Trixie’s, her clear, smooth skin.

“I love you, too,” Trixie is smiling bigger than she has in her whole life. And she’s suddenly painfully aware of how big the world is and how small they are, how tiny they are in this flood of people and how little all of it matters but how much it all matters, nothing matters more than Katya and Katya’s apartment and their future house and and their many future cats and Trixie painting all the rooms pink. And their future baby and how she’ll grow and learn and love and how Katya will propose to her when they can get married and how they’ll grow old together.

Katya is laughing and pulling her along with the crowd again by the hand and Trixie’s heart is growing with the sight of the back of Katya’s head, smoke spilling behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trixie will groan and whine for Katya to just touch her, Katya’s lips on her skin repeatedly make her so wet, and when Katya finally slides two fingers inside her she’ll cry out into the sunny room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 4! yayyyy. i was possessed to finish this in the middle of the day for no reason... and it's FILTHY. like, Nasty. So smutty. 
> 
> ALSO: warnings in this ch for drug (cocaine) abuse and angst

Katya’s feeling overwhelmed.

Senior year is more stressful than she could have imagined and her and Trixie’s shared apartment is getting messier and messier, the fridge and pantry are depleting themselves of resources and sustenance and sometimes Katya thinks that all she has going for her is her stash of weed. 

Trixie has been wearing herself to the bone trying to finish all of her classes still at the top of the class, she wants it as some kind of lofty feminist validation, and Katya doesn’t blame her one bit. Trixie’s been losing weight, and Katya has too, and they’re both stressed beyond belief, snapping at each other at each and every minor inconvenience.

Trixie’s less tan and her breasts have shrunk a little, Katya has to relearn her body a little bit but she doesn’t mind, she’ll feed her back up to her happy, normal weight in the summer once they’ve graduated with apples and oranges and bread. Katya likes to spread Trixie out on the bed, after she’s finished clacking away at a paper or review on her pink typewriter, and press tiny, tiny little kisses along each and every one of her new stretch marks, on her hips and inner thighs and breasts.

Trixie will groan and whine for Katya to just touch her, Katya’s lips on her skin repeatedly make her so wet, and when Katya finally slides two fingers inside her she’ll cry out into the sunny room.

\- - -

But school is hard, and Katya’s barely hanging on.

One night when Trixie is out studying with a group of friends, Katya finds herself naked on the white tile of the bathroom floor, chain smoking over the tub, hair in her eyes and sticking to the wet mascara on her cheeks, drying in the salt.

When Trixie comes home Katya’s fallen asleep with her knees pulled up under her chin on the cool tile against the cold wall, and Trixie puts a warm arm around her back and lifts her silently to bed. 

She settles Katya among the sheets and kisses her grainy cheek, then her lips are back and there’s a warm washcloth on Katya’s tired face and Trixie’s stroking her eyebrows, kissing each one so the tiny blonde hairs shuffle beneath her lips.

And if Katya dresses up in her silver jumpsuit the next night, teases her hair out wide past her shoulders and puts on a dark red lip and silver shadow past her brows to her hairline and sneaks out of the apartment while Trixie’s slaving away over a ten-page paper, busses to the club with Alaska and does coke all night long, takes the 6am bus back, it’s fine because Trixie understands, she knows that sometimes Katya can’t stand the reality of it.

“I wish you’d stay home,” Trixie says, she’s not whispering and she’s not afraid to tell Katya exactly what she wants and expects of her in their relationship. 

They’re a team, Trixie always says that, but what Katya thinks she _really_ means is that she wears the pants. And knows better. Katya thinks it’s hot.

“What?” Katya is gearing up for her third night out in a row, she’s tired but Alaska will give her something once they get to the club and then she’ll feel awake for the night, hopefully.

Trixie’s sitting at the table, the light above her is casting shadows down her cheeks from her big hair and across her lips below her little button nose.

“You heard me, and you know what I’m saying,” Trixie goes back to making corrections with a red pen on her paper, she’ll just have to type it out once after she’s polished it a little more, she hopes.

“Trix, I’m fine,” Katya stamps out her cig in the glass ashtray on the table under the big mirror by the door. She can see her own eyeshadow glimmer in the dim light and she can see Trixie’s eyes flicker back up at her, to her ass in the silver jumpsuit and then back down to her hand and the pen and paper.

Trixie doesn’t say anything else and Katya wants to push her buttons, she can’t really separate a real fight from a fight where Trixie wants to be fucked into the mattress, and she’s begun to condition herself to think that all fights are probably both, it just depends on the moment and the exact words that are said. 

And right now, Katya’s smart enough to know that she shouldn’t push it any further, Trixie is still working and she should shut up before it gets bad, before someone gets hurt for real. 

She could just leave out the door and wait outside, smoking, until Alaska would pick her up in full drag in her broken-down Ford truck and they could just go and dance and get high and let her eyes roll back and forget about all the readings and reflections that are due at the end of the week.

But Katya knows herself better than to believe that she’ll do that. 

She loves to push Trixie’s buttons and she loves to make her angry, so that Trixie will sit on her face, whining and grinding down, suffocating her until she cums.

“You don’t control me,” Katya’s whispering as she stuffs the pack of cigs into her shiny little purse that matches her jumpsuit. She’s looking down at the ground, Trixie’s gonna be mad, and she’s just hoping that she’ll be the right _kind_ of mad. Trixie takes a deep breath in through her nose.

“You’re right, I don’t. Plus, I’ll be the last to know if you die tonight,” Trixie’s words are colder than Katya’s ever heard them, and Katya knows that she’s right, and then what would happen to Trixie if Katya made a big mistake? At the end of the year, when they’re both so fucking close. Katya doesn’t want to think about it.

Katya realizes that she’s sitting on the floor now, trying not to cry and Trixie is still sitting at the kitchen table crossing words out and making little notes on a separate piece of paper. Katya can’t see how her hands are shaking.

Katya’s eyes are filled with tears but there’s a little thrill in the bottom of her stomach. She’s on the edge already with all of her assignments that she hasn’t done and she can feel Trixie’s fucking _energy_ vibrating towards her in waves from the table. 

Katya feels like the light hanging above Trixie’s head is swinging and she’s going to lose it, she’s sobbing a little but she can feel a laugh coming up, too.

Trixie’s pen rhythmically squeaking against the notebook paper is driving Katya insane, she’s got her knees pulled up to her face and her face between them and she’s really fucking wet. She can’t stop thinking about Trixie’s thighs and how her legs are crossed under the table.

“Go lie down on the bed,” Katya almost doesn’t hear it and it takes a minute to really sink in. Her ears are plugged with exhaustion.

When she does hear it, she jumps up immediately and stumbles to the bedroom, her legs are shaky and she’s trying to unzip her jumpsuit with jittery hands and she can’t, it’s stuck, she knows that Trixie wants her naked and she’s suffocating in it.

She’s scanning the room for scissors when she sees the phone.

She bounds over to it and dials Alaska’s number, she picks up on the second ring.

“Hey, I can’t make it out tonight,” Katya is out of breath.

“Ooh, your girl finally snapped at you?” Alaska is already high and Katya’s a little grateful that she won’t be in the car with her tonight. If Katya’s a terrible driver sober, Alaska is straight up suicidal behind the wheel, especially when high.

“Yeah, yeah I mean, I’ve gotta go, she’ll be here soon,” Katya hangs up at Alaska’s squeal and rolls her eyes. 

She finds a scissor on the desk next to the phone and reaches behind herself to cut around the zipper but warm hands stop her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Trixie’s muttering low under her breath, it’s not a question directed at her, it sounds like she’s full-on ignoring Katya still and Katya is panting into the air around her. Her legs are like jelly.

Trixie pries the scissors out of Katya’s hand and sets them down gingerly on the desk. She’s still behind Katya and Katya’s blood is thrumming in her veins. Trixie’s warmth is seeping onto Katya’s bare skin.

“Let’s get this off,” Trixie starts to fiddle with the zipper, pulling and jiggling until she gets it to come undone. Katya whines as she unzips her the whole way, pressing fingers into her skin. Katya’s brain is whirling, practically sloshing around between her ears and behind her eyes. Her thighs feel like mush.

“Trixie,” she whines as she strips her down, Trixie pulls up hard on the string of her thong and Katya breaks off from her name into a loud squeal, then into a whine as Trixie won’t let it go.

And when Katya turns to face her, her thong twists into her skin and cuts tight into her hips, stinging until Trixie lets go. She’s naked too, her breasts heavy and hanging down, her nipples are hard and Katya wants to touch them so badly. 

Yesterday afternoon before dinner and before she left with Alaska she had sat Trixie down on the couch and spread out her limbs, massaged lotion into her skin. And her breasts. And they look so soft now, the skin moisturized and smooth. And Katya wants to touch but she knows that Trixie won’t let her. 

She drags her eyes reluctantly back to Trixie’s face, where she’s looking down on her from above. She looks disappointed and Katya doesn’t blame her. But it sends a little perverse thrill down to the bottom of her toes from her heart.

Trixie reaches a hand to Katya’s chin and wipes lipstick off of it, her dry hands are rough from writing all day and night, she’s manhandling Katya a little bit as she wipes the red streaks away.

“You’re being silly,” her mouth is right next to Katya’s ear, now, her breath is hot and Katya’s stomach is heaving, Trixie’s hands feel so big on her chin and behind her back.

“On the bed,” Trixie says sternly. Katya moans out loud at it and instantly climbs up on top of the sheets, falls back against the pillows. She’s vibrating, watching Trixie walk to the bed. Trixie looks so angry and Katya is dripping wet, Trixie’s breasts are bouncing with each step and Katya wants them in her mouth. Her hips are involuntarily shifting on the sheets, and she knows that Trixie will yell at her if she touches herself.

Katya pinches her own nipple and slides her hand down to her pubes to tug on them like Trixie does when she’s impatient and she whines, closes her eyes and lets her thumb ghost over her clit. Her hand is yanked away hard, Trixie’s fingers digging into her wrist. Katya’s eyes fly open just as Trixie drops her lips down onto hers, biting her bottom lip immediately so Katya whines. Both of their eyes are wide open, Katya’s are probably bloodshot just like Trixie’s.

Trixie is tired and Katya has been a little high every moment for the past week, and Katya’s mouth probably tastes like cigs. Trixie’s tongue is teasing her, gliding across her lips, barely touching, and she’s pinning Katya’s hands down on the bed next to her head. 

“Baby,” Katya groans, Trixie’s knee is right between her thighs but she can’t shift down the bed to grind against it because of how Trixie is holding her.

“Be patient, ‘kay?” Trixie’s voice is cool, her breath is cool too against Katya’s forehead. Katya whimpers, wiggles to try to grind against her knee again. “Hey.”

Trixie shifts up so that she’s straddling Katya’s stomach, Katya can feel how wet she is against her skin. Katya is overheated, Trixie’s fingers are relentlessly digging into her skin wherever they travel and it’s driving her crazy, it’s beyond decent and Trixie is just dripping onto her stomach and she’s biting Katya’s neck so hard, Katya can’t stop her elbows from twitching as Trixie’s teeth scrape against her veins.

“Trixie, no more, no more teasing,” Katya whispers. Trixie’s mouth bites down even harder so she gasps and moans, she might be drawing blood and Katya can feet her skin bruising under her teeth, and then her teeth are gone and Katya’s neck is pumping with her heart and Trixie’s soft tongue is going over the spot again and again. Katya must be bleeding and fuck Trixie is licking it up tasting it and Katya’s a little stoned and it’s so much and she just wants Trixie to climb inside of her, fill her up. Katya’s skin itches.

“Oh, sit on it,” Trixie says sternly. Katya could cum from just her words. “You’re gonna fuck me good, ‘kay? I deserve it and you’re gonna give it to me,” Trixie whispers almost into Katya’s mouth. Her hand is on her jaw, her fingers are so strong and calloused from all the writing she does. She’s a farm girl and she pulls up weeds on the front sidewalk sometimes and they get all covered in dirt.

Katya is nodding frantically, her nose bumping against Trixie’s. Her eyes are crossing with how close Trixie’s face is, she’s trying to look at all her pores and how her mascara is clumping, how her lips are a little chapped. Trixie kisses her again, messily, and Katya can’t stop moaning and humming into her mouth. She’s desperate and she knows Trixie loves it from how she’s grinding down on Katya’s stomach.

Trixie climbs off of her, then, crawls to the end of the bed and her ass is huge and just in Katya’s face, Katya can see her pink hole between her cheeks and she can feel herself drooling over it, can feel herself dripping onto the sheets. They’ll have to wash them again later, Katya can’t bring herself to care not when Trixie is off the bed pulling her ankles down so that her head slides off the pillow, so that her feet are hanging off the end of the bed.

Trixie pinches her big toe and Katya’s foot kicks up involuntarily. Trixie digs her nails into Katya’s ankles a little and scrapes them up to her hipbones, Katya’s waist twists in response and she knows that she’s whining nonstop but she can’t help it, not when Trixie’s eyes are so dark and her mouth is in a tight line, not when she’s biting her own lip like that looking Katya up and down.

Katya pushes her breasts up to try to get Trixie to pinch her nipples but she just puts both hands on her shoulders and pushes them back against the sheets. Katya is flat on the bed and Trixie is turning around so she’s facing the other end and god, fuck, her ass is in Katya’s face and she’s lowering down and Katya’s nose is rubbing against her soft cheeks. Trixie is wiggling her ass in Katya’s face and Katya can feel hot waves coming up to her stomach from where Trixie’s hands are on her thighs for balance.

“Ready?” Trixie snaps, digs her fingers in hard so Katya’s thighs rise from the mattress, so that her feet kick again. 

“Mhmm,” Katya’s eyes are almost rolling back into her head with it, she can smell how wet Trixie is, all down her thighs, and then Katya’s hands are coming up to squeeze her cheeks, knead them so Trixie hums, and then Katya pulls her down so that she can lick her.

“Fuck, yeah, in,” Trixie groans, and Katya obeys, lathes her tongue over her hole a couple times, then pushes her tongue into the tight ring of flesh, bringing a finger to trace around it as she thrusts excruciatingly shallowly into her. 

Trixie is pushing back against her, and Katya can’t stop her hips from thrusting up, trying to convince Trixie to touch her, but she won’t and that’s okay, she doesn’t care because Trixie’s ass is all around her, almost suffocating her. Her skin is so soft and Katya’s massaged and moisturized the round flesh so many times before that it’s so familiar, every soft hair and every bit of cellulite.

“Katya, more, come on, quit that,” Katya’s pulled her tongue out of her hole and she’s biting around it, just nibbling Trixie’s skin, and Trixie’s thighs are twitching against Katya’s arms. Katya lets Trixie push back onto her finger, so that it slides in so slowly that it must be agony, Trixie’s voice has been lost to the tiniest whine Katya has ever heard. 

Katya brings a hand around to her front, slippery fingers stroking her clit, so that Trixie’s whine grows louder, so that she starts thrusting herself onto Katya’s finger inside her and rubbing against Katya’s fingers on her folds. Katya lets her thumb slip without friction into Trixie’s wet opening, wiggles it around with her finger in her ass, making separate circles, pushes her tongue alongside her finger into the tight muscle. 

“Ah!” Trixie gasps, and Katya knows that she’s about to cum from how her entire body is shaking. Katya pumps her thumb deeper, harder, and follows with her finger in her ass, and her tongue, and she can feel Trixie’s head drop onto her knees as she cums with a real fucking shriek, her back arching and her body collapsing on top of Katya’s.

Katya pumps her fingers through Trixie’s aftershocks until she’s whining again, and Trixie shifts off of Katya’s body, brings her hands to Katya’s hips to still them from where they’re begging to be touched. Trixie pulls on her pubes like Katya likes and she hisses with it, the pain is so good and Trixie is so sweaty, she’s pressing kisses onto Katya’s thighs and hips now, and then she’s pushing two fingers into Katya, massaging her clit with her other hand, and it’s only seconds before Katya is cumming, her whine bubbling up out of her. Trixie pinches her thigh through it.

\- - -

Once they’ve both showered and Trixie has taken her work into bed, typewriter propped amongst the sheets, it’s almost 2am. Katya is still naked and Trixie just has a long t-shirt on. She’s bent over the typewriter and Katya is sober for the first time in a week and it’s nice, she feels calm and she knows it’s because Trixie has her all figured out. As usual.

“Okay, done!” Trixie stretches her arms up to the ceiling, falls back against the pillows next to Katya. She lies there, eyes closed, for a moment, and then she’s back up, sitting and pulling the end of the paper out of the machine. She stacks all of the papers together and gets up to set them on the desk. 

When she comes back to bed, Katya slides her arms around her, her right arm trapped under her soft waist against the mattress. Trixie is breathing softly, she’s exhausted but she seems calmer than she’s been in days, and Katya can feel that same calm seeping through her entire body.

“I’m really sorry,” Katya mumbles into her hair. Trixie turns around so that they’re facing each other, takes Katya’s hands in hers.

“I’m just worried, you know, about you,” Trixie’s eyes are flitting from her neck where she’s bruising back up to her eyes over and over. She brings their hands up together to wipe the hair off of Katya’s forehead. “And Alaska, too, but you in particular.”

Katya nods, she’s done now. She has to stop because even if Trixie _was_ just trying to rile her up earlier, she was fucking right, and Katya needs to calm down for the end of the school year.

“Just. Just, that was me, in the beginning,” Katya looks back to her from where her eyes are making shapes on the wall. Trixie’s eyes are closed like she’s afraid to tell her, and Katya disentangles her hand from where it’s in Trixie’s to bring it up to her face. “I don’t think I was sober once all of freshman year, and. And. I don’t want that to fuck you up, now, we’re so close. Katya, we’re almost done. And then we can move to San Francisco and work with Bob and I know that you want that, we both do, and we have to just focus for these last few days, ya know?”

Trixie’s eyes are wide open, now, watching her. Katya nods and kisses her close-mouthed.

“Yeah, yeah I know. Thanks for keeping me in line, baby,” Katya is grinning and Trixie slaps her on the shoulder.

“Turn off the light, please,” Trixie is burrowing down into the covers, pressing herself up against Katya’s body. She’s so warm and Katya is overwhelmed with her love for her. Trixie is instantly snoring in the dark and Katya follows her into sleep, tomorrow Trixie will sit her down at the table and make sure that she finishes all her papers. And they’ll drink tea and burn incense and it’ll be wonderful, and Katya will feel accomplished after.

And Trixie will still be there when the year is done, and they’ll spend their lives together, probably, and Katya’s excited for that. It helps her sleep at night and it gives her some nice fucking dreams.


End file.
